Singapore Culture: The Heartland Coffeeshop

 

80 % of Singaporeans live in and own the Housing Development Board (HDB) public housing units built by the government to provide affordable and quality housing to the masses. Life in the HDB  is a subculture all its own. And contributing a large part towards this subculture are the heartland coffeshops that provide a community gathering space; where the denizens of the estate gather to eat, talk, and drink.  The extract below is from a post in my Facebook on the going ons of a coffee shop near to my place of abode.

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ON HEARTLAND COFFEESHOP STALL OPENING BANNERS AND NICKNAMES FOR CUSTOMERS.

1. The coffeeshop near where I live has a high turnover of food stalls. When new stalls open, inevitably you see banners like those in the images above.

 By the names of the well-wishers you can tell that they belong to a certain group of Singaporeans. I wouldn't call them Ah Bengs#  as the Ah Bengs of yore no longer exist. But their values and characteristics remain:  street-smart, energetic, risk-takers, with high regard for friendship, loyalty, brotherhood,  they still manage to survive and even thrive in the small business jungle. # used to refer to less-educated less-English speaking men and women with their own subculture.

2. While I am amused and delighted by these banners, I am not so amused by this coffeeshop's  practice of giving nicknames to regular customers and shouting out the customers' order using their nickname. Some of these nicknames are innocuous but some can be perceived as derogatory or privacy-invasive. Here is a list of some nicknames of their regular customers that I have collected. In Hokkien with English translation:

1. Tua Tau: Big Head

2. Kak Poh .Frog

3. Tai Ter Bin. Literally 'kill pig face'. A Butcher?

4. Or ee or: Tarzan's call. Why I don't know.

5. Chay Sua: Sit on mountain. A businessman, financial benefactor.

6. Ang Kong. A heavily tattooed man.

7. Togo: Someone who likes alcohol

8. Vietnam: A man with a predilection for Vietnamese women.

9. Cha Boh. Woman. The customer is a very masculine-looking woman. A weird sense of humour.

10. Gelek. A Malay word meaning to rotate, or swing or roll the hips when used with reference to ladies. Reserved for the Beer Lady who swings and sashays like the Girl from Ipanema.

It's all fun, but I was shocked out of my skin when they shouted out my order as Cheng Hoo Lang Chua Chow Chwee.  Literally " Snake Grass Water for the Government Person" . I look like Government Person meh? Hope they don't call somebody Ah Long (loan shark) else the coffeeshop may cease to exist.